The importance of parental engagement

6 min read:

I’ve always seen parenting/ fatherhood as one of the greatest titles, duties, responsibilities and experiences that we can have as humans.

I’ve supported thousands of families over the last 20 plus years and built bonds and formed great parent partnerships, but nothing could prepare me for becoming a parent myself.

Often as educators we give advice and directly support parents/carers with their children based on our Early Years knowledge, training and experience of working with previous families.

Now, knowledge and experience when working with families are valuable sources to draw from, but the knowledge I’ve obtained from being a parent has definitely strengthened my understanding and increased my empathy.

There are so many things that we take for granted when it comes to parental engagement, the main thing being the well-being of our parents. Many are tired from sleep deprivation, many feel guilty that they have to work and don’t spend enough time with their child/children, some may feel that their parenting is under par and will constantly question themselves, especially when met with a challenge.

I always tell my teams that when a parent/ parents choose to let their child attend the setting, those parents or carers are going through a transition as much as the children are. They are leaving their precious child/ children in the care of strangers.

Parents can suffer from separation anxiety and for many, drop offs are a daunting task and it’s made more challenging when their child has not settled and gets upset. Some parents will drop off their child and go, but others will drop off their child and linger. This is where educators need to be aware, understanding, have patience and empathy.

The important thing for us the teachers, the educators, the pedagogues to understand is that parents need time, consistency, and they need our support.

This is why having a core team in each room is important and the key person/ key buddy system is important. Parents and carers need to feel comfortable, confident and connected with the setting, which needs to start from the induction day/ settling in period.

Having a person that works closely with the child and family is what we in the sector call a parent partnership. Often children will choose who their key person is – it’s normally a person who they can relate to, or they feel most comfortable with.

The key person acts as a conduit between the setting and family, they give feedback and information to the parents and also receive important information and feedback. They build a professional but personal relationship with the family, forming a secure base for the child, ensuring that the learning and support given to the child in the setting is consistent or compliments what’s happening at home and vice versa.

In some cases, it might be simple things like the key person giving parents and carers home learning or support links to the local children’s groups or SALT etc, sharing with the parent how the child’s day has been and sharing their achievements or having short meetings to discuss what the child finds challenging. It can also be about learning a child’s cultural heritage/background and implementing some changes in the environment based on that child’s culture heritage. This can be by having books, toys, materials, music and other resources that they may have at home. This helps the child and family feel a connection with the setting.

During this post-covid, turbulent time, our sector is going through one of the biggest staffing crises we have ever seen. This crisis effects the core teams within each room, with qualified and non-qualified staff being moved to other rooms to cover ratios because staff members are sick, or to ensure there are enough qualified staff present.

Which makes it difficult to have consistency of staff in each room. Many are leaving our sector due being under pressure and not being able to complete tasks within their room or not being able to work with their key children or children based within their room.

Even I feel guilty when I haven’t seen my parents or my key children for a day or a week. Parents will often say “where have you been? Have you been ill?!” When I tell them I’ve been in another room they sigh in relief because some have changed key person twice or three times. Which in many cases is unavoidable due to a member of staff leaving or changing rooms.

Upon reflection 

We need to support and reassure our parents because as much as we’re going through a crisis, so are they. As I am now a parent myself, I can see things from two perspectives. Our staff definitely need to be applauded for all their hard work and we need to consider their well-being too, but parents are also working hard, working hard at their jobs to keep a roof over their heads and to pay bills plus being a parent which is the biggest role of all. Constant changes can be unsettling for parents so they need reassurance that things will be ok and the people that work with their child are as connected to them as their key person is.

We need to create a network of support and joy. Where we all are given a space to be heard and necessary actions are taken.

We all need to have the understanding that we are a team: parent, child and professionals. Together we are doing our best so the child/children thrive.

We need to be empathetic and considerate of each other’s feelings and needs.

We need to make joy, love, empathy, respect and learning the foundation for positive relationships.

Remember the early years is the foundation to all learning, so what happens when the foundation is not solid? Our children don’t get the best start in life which may have a detrimental knock-on effect for their lives in the future.

The work that we do in the Early years is important!

J.C.C.

A funny quote to end with:

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.

Leo J. Burke

You can listen to Jamel chatting with Ben about becoming a parent, sharing experiences they have both had with a new baby in the family, in the FSF and Tapestry podcast episode “The joy and challenges of becoming a parent”.